What about your friends…They dog me out then get next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy…I let a lot of people depend on me
I never thought they would deceive me…Don’t you know when times got rough, I was standing on my own…
What about your friends…will they let you down again (Austin & Lopes, 1992).
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week’s subject is toxic friendships….I sounded like a teacher didn’t I? You are a teacher too. I have always said that you are to teach people how they are to treat you, and that includes friends, family, and lovers.
According to Oxford Languages, toxic is very harmful and or unpleasant in a gradual subtle way. Relationship is described as the state of being connected and the regard in which people behave towards each other. So…if a person that you are connected to has unpleasant or harmful intentions towards you in a subtle way…. Toxic friendships drain you instead of elevating you (Lamothe, 2019).
According to Lamothe (2019), Some actions that is listed that a toxic friend may do:
· Put you down sometimes subtly sometimes overtly, this includes lying on you
· Gossip-tell your personal business and consistently break your trust
· Put Themselves Front and Center-when they need you they are around, but when you need them they get back to you whenever they feel like it or never
· Offer Insincere apologies
Lamothe (2019) provides some signs of toxic relationships, which are lack of support, toxic communication, jealousy, dishonesty, and patterns of disrespect. Lamothe continued to inform that when things turn toxic every achievement becomes a competition. The conversations become littered with sarcasm, criticism, and/or overt hostility. Also, that a toxic friend shows negative feelings about others success. Looking at the stages and signs of toxic relationships; jealousy, disrespect, and manipulation stood out.
According to Raypole (2020) true friends don’t just take, they also offer empathy for your concerns in all circumstances. A toxic friend adds to your stress, they may say and do things to upset you while you are communicating. True friends offer support when it is needed, in toxic relationships that support is never felt. One interesting thing from this particular article was that toxic relationships slowly began to infest and poison other close relationships. Boundaries about unacceptable behavior have to be set in any healthy friendship or know when the friendship has run its course and have to end. You are always the teacher when it comes to how people treat you. What about your friends….will they let you down again?
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Austin, D., & Lopes, L. (1992). What About Your Friends [Recorded by TLC]. United States of America.
Lamothe, C. (2019, November 11). Is Your Relationship Toxic? Retrieved from Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship
Raypole, C. (2020, May 19). In A Toxic Friendship? Here’s What to Look For (and how to handle it). Retrieved from Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-friendships#signs-and-traits